Chewing Him Out Over It

Me: “I just ate the last of your gummy bears.”

Boyfriend: “WHAT?!”

Me: “I ate your gummy bears. They’re all gone.”

Boyfriend: “That’s it. We’re getting a divorce.”

Me: “But we aren’t married.”

Boyfriend: “Well then let’s go get married so I can divorce you. That is the only proper course of action for you eating the last of my gummy bears.”

Me: “Or I could just buy you more.”

Boyfriend: “That works too.”

Me: “Hooray! We aren’t getting married!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah… wait, what?”