Burning The Telemarketer

(My teenage brother has apparently given our house phone number to a questionable website, and we start receiving phone calls attempting to sell us a subscription to an adult magazine. My parents have repeatedly asked them to stop calling, but they keep on. On this day, when the phone rings, my dad’s had enough.)

My Dad: “Hello?”

(He listens for a moment to the telemarketer’s speech, then suddenly starts speaking loudly in a dramatic,’southern baptist preacher’ kind of accent.)

My Dad: “Son, you will burn in the fires of Hell for peddling this filth! Sin and temptation are NOT WELCOME in this house! God will rain fire and brimstone down upon the unclean! … Oh, he hung up.”

(They never called again.)