Banana Split Of Opinion

(Our standard banana splits are made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate, pineapple, and strawberry sauces, peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry. We always ask people if they would like to change the flavors or toppings before we start making the item.)

Customer: “I’d like a banana split.”

Me: “Okay. We usually make that with vanilla ice cre—”

Customer: “No. No. No. I want it with two scoops of strawberry on either side, and one scoop of vanilla in the middle. No toppings but the strawberry sauce, and whipped cream but no cherry.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I proceed to make the banana split. Ice cream goes down first, then the sauce, then half a banana split long ways down either side, then whipped cream. I bring it to the window.)

Me: “Here you go. Will that be all?”

Customer: *disdainful look* “Yes… That’s all.”

(He pays and I give him his change. He is about to walk off.)

Customer: “You know you did this all wrong, right?”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “I’ve been coming here for five years and they’re never like this.”

Me: “I’ve been working here for a few years and this is how I was trained to make them. What is it that you don’t like?”

Customer: “The banana is on top of the ice cream. I’ve been coming here for five years. It’s supposed to go on the bottom.”

Me: “Like… under all the ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes. How am I supposed to get to the ice cream without touching the banana when it’s like this?”

Me: “I think the point is to be able to eat the ice cream and banana together.” *points at poster of banana split on store front* “See? That is how we make them here. If you would like me to remake it, I’d be happy t—”

Customer: “No. I’ve been coming here for five years. This is all wrong.”

Me: “Would you like me to refund your money?”

Customer: “No. No. NO. This is just wrong, though.”

Me: “So you don’t want a replacement item and you don’t want a refund?”

Customer: “No.” *continues to stand at counter blocking the next customer in line*

Me: “I’m sorry but beyond remaking the item and a refund, there’s not really anything I can do. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No.”

(He continued to stand there for another minute, looking down, flaring his nostrils at his ice cream, blocking the next customer in line. Finally he moved away. Ten minutes later, I saw him throw his empty carton out. I guess he found a way around the banana.)