Ask No Stupid Questions, Hear No Ridiculous Lies

(Our history class starts at 7:30am. I am not even close to being a morning person, and always come in with a giant cup of coffee. I also always do my assignments, and often stay late to ask questions about the assignments. The student who sits next me is always overwhelmingly energetic and obnoxiously nosey. One morning, I get fed up.)

Student: “How do you get all of your work done all the time? Do you ever have any fun?”

Me: “No. I have a debilitating illness that gets worse if I am not continually learning.”

Student: “Oh my god! Really?”

Me: “Yes.”

Student: “Even when you’re asleep!?”

Me: “I don’t sleep.”

Student: “So THAT’S why you drink so much coffee!”

Me: “Oh that? Nah, I just like how it makes my pee smell funny.”

(He stopped bothering me after that.)