An Acrimonious Acronym

(I manage a retail boutique. I have been looking to hire a replacement for a keyholder who is leaving, and I have to be fairly picky about who I hire in those positions, as they’re responsible for opening and closing the store by themselves when my assistant or I are off, as well as handling deposits, taking $1000 custom orders, etc. Meanwhile, I have a seasonal associate who has no interest in talking with customers and has difficulty following instructions on tasks.)

Seasonal Associate: “What’s a [acronym for sales performance goals]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Seasonal Associate: “A [acronym for sales performance goals]. What is that?”

Me: “You’re joking, right?”

Seasonal Associate: “…no? [District manager] just sent an email about that and I didn’t know what it meant.”

Me: “[Seasonal Associate], I know for a fact that [Assistant Manager] and I both explained it to you when we interviewed you for the job, as well as during it your first couple shifts. It was explained in the orientation video that I witnessed you watch and take a quiz on. We’ve used that term every single day, multiple times a day, since you started five months ago. There’s a huge chart, at eye level, on the door to the sales floor that tracks everyone’s [acronym for sales performance goals] each week. How do you not know this?”

Seasonal Associate: *shrug*

Me: “You do realize that [acronym for sales performance goals] is literally the only way the company judges how our store is performing, right?”

Seasonal Associate: “I didn’t realize that. By the way, if you can’t find another key-holder, I can do it!”