A Sudden Switch In Tone

(I am at home, asleep in bed, when the phone rings.)

Me: “H’llo?”

Caller: “Hi! I’m from [Not My Phone Company], here to tell you about our great offer! We can get you your local connection for free, and our long-distance rates to the States are the best in Canada!”

Me: “Thanks, but I’m not interested.”

Caller: “But it’s free! You don’t have to pay for your local calls at all!”

Me: “I don’t pay for them now, and I’m happy with my current phone company, thanks.”

Caller: “But why not?! It’s free!”

Me: “I don’t care. I’ve been with my current phone company for, like, ten years; I’ve never had a problem with them, and I don’t care if it’s free. I don’t want to switch!”

Caller: “But we have the best rates to the States! And it’s free locally!”

Me: “I don’t call the States. All my long distance calls are within BC. I don’t want to switch!”

Caller: “But why not?!”

Me: “Because you’re American and I don’t want to deal with an American company. I want to keep my Canadian one, thanks. Also, I hate your ads. They’re extremely annoying and I don’t want to have anything to do with [Not My Phone Company]. Now, I know it’s the afternoon, but I work graveyards, so it’s about four am for me. Thanks, but I don’t want to switch!”

Caller: “Fine! Goodbye!”

(She hangs up, but the next day, about the same time, she calls back.)

Me: “Mn. H’llo?”

Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from [Not My Phone Company]; have you thought about our great offer? We have the best rates in Canada!”

Me: “I don’t want to switch. I don’t want to deal with an American company, I’m perfectly happy with [My Phone Company], I hate your bloody ads, and I work graveyards so it’s like 4 am to me. Stop calling me! I don’t want to switch!”

Caller: “Fine. Goodbye!”

(Next afternoon, the phone rings AGAIN.)

Caller: “Hi! I’m calling from [Not My Phone Company]; have you thought about our offer?”

Me: “I don’t want to deal with you! I will never deal with you! Stop calling me! God!”

Caller: “Well, fine then! Will you explain to my supervisor why you won’t switch when it’s free to make local calls and our long distance rates are cheaper?”

Me: “We’re in BC! ALL local calls are free! With everyone! Yes, fine, give me your supervisor. Whatever.”

(The supervisor comes on almost immediately.)

Supervisor: “Hi, I understand that [Caller] explained our offer but you aren’t interested even though it’s a better deal for you. Could you tell me why you’re not interested?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t care if it’s cheaper; I’m happy with [My Phone Company] and I’m not going to switch away just to save about three bucks a month. I never call to the States so I really don’t care how cheap your long distance there is. You’re an American company and I want to support my Canadian one rather than a foreign one. And I know you don’t have any control over them but your ads are really annoying and I would be turning you guys down just based on those.”

Supervisor: “Yes, I see. Thanks.”

Me: “Also, as I’ve told your colleague three times already now, I work graveyards and it’s about four am for me and she’s been calling me this time every day for the past three days! So no, I’m sorry, but I won’t ever be dealing with your company. Sorry.”

Supervisor: “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry! Don’t worry, this won’t happen again!”

(And they never did call me again. I sincerely hope the bloody saleswoman was severely reprimanded, though.)