A Gut Feeling That They’re Gonna Be Okay

(My husband and I are getting ready for work and he’s been in the bathroom awhile. He finally comes out and this exchange happens:)

Husband: “Dear God, that coffee just blew through all my insides. I don’t know if there’s anything left!”

Me: “Yeah, coffee’ll do that to you.”

Husband: “Seriously, if s*** was gold we’d be rich right now.”

Me: “There’s brown gold up in them hills!”

Husband: “But now I feel like everything inside is on the verge of collapsing.”

Me: “The integrity of the colon is at stake!”

Husband: “LOOK OUT! THAT WAS A LOAD BEARING POOP!”

Me: “We’re so gross.”

Husband: “Kiss me.”