Going To Need A Stronger Drink, Part 2

(I am a substitute teacher, and recently filled in as a fourth-grade teacher. One ten-year-old student is having trouble sitting still.)

Me: “Sit down, [Student].”

Student: “But I had two cups of coffee this morning!”

Teacher: “WHY did you have two cups of coffee?”

Student: “Because if I don’t, then I go…” *pantomimes falling over asleep*

Teacher: “Well, I only had one cup of coffee, and it’s wearing off. Sit down.”