From The Fire Islands

(In a Skype group I’m in, most of the members are from either the US or the Philippines. I am from the US, while the other guy is from the Philippines.)

Friend: “Ech, it’s getting too hot to wear a sweater here. I’m dying in the heat right now.”

Me: “Then don’t wear a sweater.”

Friend: “I removed it just a few minutes ago, but I’m still dying.”

Me: “Have you contacted emergency services?”

Friend: “Yes, but the phone melted while I was dialing.”

Me: “Please get out of the house; it is on fire.”

Friend: “It’s not on fire, I have a fan on! It’s just enough to keep it from combusting spontaneously.”