Should Have Had Foresight To Know Better

| Friendly | April 3, 2016

(A group of my friends and I have settled down for a hangout. Being gamers, we sit down for Mario Party to get mad at each other. I have such a bad habit of assuming and guessing and then having it come true that it leads to jokes that I have foresight. Running with this, and knowing the game is so frustrating because pretty much everything is random, I decide to see how far I can take it.)

Me: *rolling for place* “Aw, third place?”

(The dice rolls come in. I get the third lowest.)

Friend #1: “What?”

Friend #2: “How did you do that?”

Me: “I’m done playing nice. I’m using my psychic powers to win this one.”

Friend #1: “Oooookay.”

(The game starts and carries on as normal for the first few turns until I decide to start messing with them.)

Me: “Oh, nice ten.” *rolls a ten after saying that*

Friend #3: “Seriously, [My Name]?”

Me: *smiles*

(A bit later, I’m stealing coins from Friend #1.)

Me: “Oh, nice, 23 coins.”

Friend #1: “Nooooooo…”

(I get 23 coins.)

Friend #1: “What the crap?!”

Friend #3: *laughing* “He’s actually doing it.”

(I continue on in this vein, random chance making pretty much every prediction correct to the growing bewilderment of my friends.)

Me: “Oh, hey, congrats, [Friend #2].”

(Friend #2 lands on a hidden block that has a star in it.)

Friend #1: “OH, COME ON!”

(At that, Friend #1 threw his controller and walked off, both enraged and terrified. And that’s how I got banned from playing Mario Party with my friends.)

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