Unfiltered Story #47736

I’m at my aunt’s house for thanksgiving. I’m listening to one of my uncles (who’s very right-wing) having a talk with his college-age daughter. This is shortly after the US invades Iraq in 2003. I swear I am not making any of this up.

Cousin: What I don’t understand is why we don’t just, like, take over the whole world? I mean, we’re America! (laughs)

Uncle: (slightly taken aback): Well…we could…but if we did, there would probably be a lot of fighting and a lot of people would die.

Cousin: Oh! (laughs again). You know…you hear about wars all over the place, except for Africa. Why don’t they ever have wars in Africa?

Uncle: (even more taken aback): um…well, they do, actually.

Cousin: (laughs again) Oh! So, like, what do they do…throw spears at each other?

Me: gulps down entire glass of wine in hand, and goes to get another large glass. Gulps that one down, too.