Unfiltered Story #326604

This story is from when I first started working as a teacher, over a decade ago. I didn’t find a permanent position immediately after university, but I got a couple of temp jobs lasting a few weeks. I was 28 years old and just starting out, so I was just hoping to get some experience (and money) before hopefully finding a full-time position.

During one such temp job at a high school, I met a class that consisted of all girls, aged around 17-18. They were mostly studying arts and craft courses, but they also had to have some general natural science in their degrees, so that’s where I came in, having a B.Sc. in biology.

Because science was not their primary focus, the girls weren’t really motivated to study things like these. It’s a bit like teaching chemistry to a football player: not what they’re really interested in. One day, though, something happened that piqued their interest.

Female student #1: “Hey, teach… What do boys like?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Female student #1: “You know… sex and stuff?”
Me: “What do boys like?”
Female student #2: “Yeah, you’re a guy, right… So you know about stuff like that, right?”

At this point, I was wondering whether it was appropriate for me as a young man to talk about things like that with a group of young high school girls, and whether we shouldn’t focus on the curriculum instead. (Note: the age of consent in Norway is 16, so none of the girls were underage). Still, being inexperienced, I didn’t really know too much about what was appropriate, so I was mostly worried about the students falling behind in their scheduled studies.

Me: “Uhm… that’s not really the kind of thing we’re supposed to discuss in this class, is it?”
Female student #1: “But our teachers never want to talk about sex with us!”

Hearing this really pissed me off. Sexual education varies greatly in quality, I knew that from experience. When I was a their age, I had experienced several poor examples of sex education, and I knew that a lot of kids out there got their knowledge from pornography – which is not exactly the best place to learn about healthy sexual relationships. I also absolutely HATE it when teachers (who are supposed to, you know, teach) refuse to share their knowledge.

I also noticed that this class of girls had suddenly gone quiet. Instead of chatting, not paying attention and doing their own thing, they were all suddenly looking up at me, waiting for my response. I took a moment to think, and then I responded as honestly as I could.

Me: “Well, here’s the thing. When it comes to sex, you’d think that there are some things that everybody like. I mean, surely everyone likes oral sex, right? That’s what all the movies and TV shows tell us, isn’t it?”

I saw several heads nodding slightly; the girls were all ears at this point.

Me: “But actually, this isn’t true. There are plenty of guys out there who don’t like that kind of thing. And there are plenty of girls who don’t fit the stereotypical image of a ‘girl’ either. There are even people who are asexual, who therefore aren’t into sex at all. You don’t see that very often in the movies, do you? In popular culture, sex is generally something wanted by all.”

The students asked several similar questions, and I answered them as best I could. We didn’t get into personal things, but they were genuinely curious about a host of issues, and I didn’t feel like standing in the way of young minds seeking knowledge. The session basically turned into an impromptu sex ed lesson, and the students seemed to enjoy finally getting answers. Rounding off, I returned to the original question asked by the first student.

Me: “The thing is, we’re all different. So to the question of what boys like… well, that depends on the boy. Here’s my advice: when it comes to having sex, TALK to your partner. Don’t be afraid of that. Ask them what they like. Tell them what you like. Try out some things together and find out what you both like. Then find yourselves a partner who likes the same things you do. Do that, and I promise: you’ll have a lot better relationships.”

More than a decade later, I still include sex ed modules as part of my biology courses when I teach. Sometimes, I even set up extra sessions to include anyone who is interested but isn’t taking the rest of the course. That session with those girls really made me think about why I’m so passionate about teaching: I will never stand in the way of a young mind’s desire for knowledge.

The students never complain; in fact, they want to know even more. They ask questions, ask for source material, show up for extra lessons… I still see articles in national newspapers every so often, with both students, politicians and health personnel complaining that sex ed in this country is going down the tubes.

Not so at my school. Not as long as I’m teaching.