Unfiltered Story #323373

[I frequent a restaurant near me because the food is good and reasonably priced. It also doesn’t hurt that one of the waitresses is a gorgeous older black woman who I have a crush on. Mind you, I’ve never actually done anything or said anything to indicate this crush, just wistfully watched her as I consume food and she works.]

[One day, a man who has clearly consumed too much alcohol is at the next table over. When my favorite waitress sets his food down, he reaches up with both hands and grabs her chest. She calmly reaches down and pries his hands off, then starts bending his wrists backwards.]

Drunk Jerk: “Owww!”

Waitress: “Honey, this ain’t nothing. Keep your hands to yourself.”

Drunk Jerk: “Or what?”

[The waitress bends his wrists just a bit more backwards.]

Waitress: “Or else I really start to defend myself.”

[She lets go of him.]

Me: “Holy smoke!”

[The waitress turns to me.]

Waitress: “You’re the guy with the crush. I’ve seen you watching me. That’s fine, just don’t touch.”

[I was definitely impressed. If she wasn’t already married, I’d have asked her out!]