You’ve Been Benched

(I work at a historic site in Massachusetts, and we have strict no-touching rules. The customer had just purchased admission.)

Me: “All right, now, before you head in, just a reminder not to touch any of the furniture inside, as the pieces are several hundred years old.”

(The customer gives a noncommittal grunt before going into the site. Not five minutes later, I look inside and see him sitting on an 18th century bench, which I should add, has a rope across it to stop people from sitting on it.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t sit there.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The furniture pieces here are historic, and we can’t have visitors sitting on them.”

Customer: “Well, if you don’t want people sitting on the furniture, you should inform them before they pay!”