You’re (Human) Being Ridiculous

(A customer has been trying on around a dozen of the same brand of orthopaedic sandals, finding something wrong with each pair and driving my coworker up the wall. Finally, she picks a style, but wants a new pair.)

Coworker: “Of course, I can check for a different pair for you, but may I ask what’s wrong with this one?”

Customer: “It has clearly been tried on by other people.

Coworker: “Oh, okay! That makes sense. So, you’d like me to find you a brand new pair, if possible?”

Customer: *completely serious* “No. I want you to find me a pair that has never been touched by human hands, including yours.”

(My flabbergasted coworker went into the back to ‘look,’ aka control her giggles, while I tried in vain to explain that the shoes get touched while being made and packaged. The customer kept insisting that machines did all the work now and there was no excuse for someone touching her sandals. She left with nothing.)