Your Pregnancy Assumptions Are Making Me Sick

(Growing up, once in a while I would get extremely nauseated, often to the point where I could not keep down water. If it went on long enough, I had to go to the ER to get a shot of Compazine (an anti-nausea drug) and IV fluids. Fortunately I grew out of it, but the last time it happened I was about 16 and the urgent care doctor was a little too persistent in his questions. Keep in mind I had been vomiting for hours and feeling horrible with little sleep since the night before, and I got fed up.)

Doctor: “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “No.”

Doctor: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. Very sure. This has happened all my life; I just need the shot.”

Doctor: “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant? Pregnancy can cause nausea, you know.”

Me: “I am really positive I am not pregnant.”

Doctor: “We can’t give you this shot if you are pregnant—”

Me: *interrupting* “—unless I’m giving birth to Jesus Christ, I’m not f****** pregnant!”

(The doctor must have been pissed because he insisted on giving me the shot in my ass, which was a first, but I was so sick I really didn’t care. I should’ve just told him I was a virgin, but my friend had brought me and I think I didn’t really want to say it in front of her.)