You Only Have Yourself To Game

(Thanks to my super game-loving friend, I’ve recently found out that I adore video games, and have been catching up on all the video games released in the past ten years that I think look awesome. My friend is highly amused by how excited I get at it at all, so I have been periodically updating her on my progress throughout each game. One night I send her a few texts.)

Me: *at four am* “[Friend]! I MADE MY VIDEO GAME BOYFRIEND KING AND HE GOT MAD AND BROKE UP WITH ME! Jerkface. I’m feeding him to the dragon, okay?”

Me: *at five am* “HE FED HIMSELF TO THE DRAGON AND NOW I’M BAWLING.”

Me: *at six am* “Okay, we’re all good. He’s not king, the dragon is dead, and we’re still together. Yay for happy endings!”

Friend: *at 10 am* “…What have I created?”

(A few weeks later I’m playing a sequel to that game and I text her again.)

Me: “[Friend]! NOO! [Character] from the first game died in the third game! AFTER ALL I DID TO KEEP HIM ALIVE!”

Friend: “Mayyyybeee you need a break?”