You Can Hear The Irony From Here

(I work in the call centre for an insurance company. The caller I am speaking to is an elderly gentleman who has called to make sure his new hearing aids are covered under his policy.)

Me: “Yes, hearing aids are fully covered under your contents policy. And the good news is that if you have to make a claim, you won’t have to pay an excess.”

Caller: “What was that, dear?”

Me: “If you need to make a claim for your hearing aids you won’t have to pay any excess.”

Caller: “No, I still didn’t get that.”

Me: *nearly shouting* “IF YOU NEED TO CLAIM FOR YOUR HEARING AIDS IT WON’T COST YOU ANYTHING! WE’LL REPLACE THEM FOR FREE!”

Caller: *cheerfully* “You must be thinking; ‘why hasn’t he got the f****** things in?'”