Wouldn’t Want To Be In Her Prescription Shoes

(I work at a call center for one of the nation’s largest insurance firms. Today I’m handling an irate caller who’s very upset that she can’t get back more money on her last claim for her prescription shoes.)

Customer: “This is absolutely disgusting! I’ve been a member for ten years and this is how you treat me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but $500 is the annual limit for footwear so you’ve already gotten the maximum rebate. That’s the same for everyone no matter how long they’ve been with us.”

Customer: “I don’t care about anyone else! I’ve been with you for ten years and I expect to be shown some gratitude!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve only been with us for a year at the most.”

Customer: “WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you say that to me! Do you know who you’re talking to!?”

Me: “Yes, you are [Customer] of [Address]. You activated your policy [number] on [Date that’s just barely 12 months from today] and so far have tried to defraud us several times claiming you deserve more money than your policy allows.”

Customer: “HOW THE H*** DO YOU KNOW ALL THAT?!”

Me: “It’s right here on my screen, in your profile. We do pride ourselves on making sure we keep detailed records and know everything important about our customers so we can handle their issues at a moment’s notice.”

Customer: “F***!” *click*