When You’re Just Adding To The Problem

(My boyfriend and I are taking a shower together. I have been out riding my bicycle for about an hour and neglected to wear a sports bra so there’s noticeable redness underneath the breasts where it chafed a bit.)

Boyfriend: “You’ve got a red line there.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. Can’t be helped.”

Boyfriend: “Isn’t there any way you can stop that from happening?”

Me: “Not unless they get smaller. They’re just too heavy.”

Boyfriend: “D***. Well, that makes me conflicted.”

(Without missing a beat, he grabs my breasts and starts massaging them.)

Boyfriend: “Get bigger! Get bigger!”