(It’s my first day on the job, so I really don’t know my way around the store yet)

Me: Can I help you?

Customer: Yes, I’m looking for this kind of vacuum bags. *hold up wrapper* I bought them here last month.

Me: Sure thing. The vacuums are over in this corner, so let’s go take a look.

Me: Hm, we don’t seem to have any vacuum bags here. But I could probably order them online and have them shipped to the store, if you’d like.

Customer: Okay.

(I go to the website. We don’t seem to sell vacuum bags at all.)

Me: I’m sorry, I’m having trouble locating them. Let me get a lead expert who might know our stock better.

Customer: (huffs) Fine.

Lead: We’ve historically never sold many vacuum bags.

Customer: No! That’s impossible! I bought these here last month! You had them right over by the automotive section!

Lead: We’ve never had an automotive section either.

Customer: I bought these right here last month! You can’t tell me you don’t sell them!

Lead: I’m sorry, but we simply don’t. I bet Sears would have them, though.

Customer: What do you mean? Isn’t this Sears?

Lead: No m’am. This is JCPenney.

Customer: Oh. I thought it was Sears. I bought these at Sears. You all have a nice day!

(We are surrounded by the JCPenney logo. My nametag reads ‘jcpenney’ in place of a name because I’m so new. I had offered to order the bags from ‘jcpenney dot com’.)

I am in 7th grade and can be rather mischievous.

Teacher: we are going to be watching a movie today in class. (my name) can you turn off the lights?

Me: (turns off lights and sneaks out of the classroom).

I go to my locker and put on a scream mask. Then I go back to my classroom and sit at the back of the room. For a minute or so, no one noticed. Then…

Student 1: Mrs. (Teacher) look at (my name)!!

Teacher: (between chuckles) (my name) take that mask off and go to the principals office.

I talked to the assistant principal. He was trying really hard not to laugh but said it wasn’t appropriate. He also called my mom and said he thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard of a kid doing.

(Note: I run a small home business, so when anyone in my family needs any packaging, bubble wrap or envelopes, they always come right to me.)

Sister: “Hey, I need to mail something. Where do I put the sticker?”

Me: “The sticker?”

Sister: “Yeah, the.. The sticker!”

Me: “Do you mean the stamp?”

Sister: “Yes, the sticker thing!”

Me, bemused: “You’re twenty years old, shouldn’t you know this by now?”

Sister: “It’s not my fault snail mail is confusing!”

(Me and my friends are talking about what we’ll be doing at college. The college I wanted to go to you needed 5 Cs to do a B-Tech or 4 Bs to do A-Level. I was opting for A-Level)

Me: I’m going to do English at [College]

Friend: They don’t do English B-Tech

Me: I know I’m going to do it at A-Level

Friend: But you need 4 Bs to get into A-Level

Me: …I know

Friend: Do you really think you’ll get that?

Me: Umm….Yes

(I got 5 Bs, an A and an A*, getting onto my course easily. I usually quite good at school so I have no idea why she thought I wasn’t good enough to get onto A-Level)

My mom just ate at IKEA, but she’s nice enough to buy me a Happy Meal at McDonalds. I tell her what I want, which is a Happy Meal with apples, Fanta and cheeseburger. She repeats this to the order machine, but we didn’t check the screen to see our order. This is what happens at the drive through:

Worker: So Happy Meal with Fanta, cheeseburger and carrots?

Mom: No, apples.

The worker apologizes and press a few buttons and we pay.

We pull up and mom happens to see the other worker packaging the meal, holding a bag of carrots. Maybe the second worker didn’t do any correction at all.

Mom: No, sorry, we wanted apples.

Worker #2: Sorry. Here you go.

So three screw ups in a row. While not terrible, it’s kind of annoying.

And as usual, no napkins in the Happy Meal packaging.