Time To Drop The Dead Donkey
(I used to work at a pet store. One day during my second month on the job, a woman walks in and taps me on the shoulder while I am stocking pet food.)
Woman: “Excuse me, what is your largest size for pet shock collars?”
Me: “Our biggest size is about [collar size].”
Woman: “Would that be large enough to fit a donkey?”
(A nearby coworker of mine heard the conversation and walked over.)
Coworker: “Why do you need a shock collar for a donkey?”
Woman: “My neighbor’s donkey keeps getting into my yard and eating my flowers. I already put an electric fence out, now I just need a collar for the donkey.”
Me: “Can’t you just tell your neighbor that their donkey is eating your flowers?”
Woman: “NO! That’s extremely rude, and besides, my neighbor doesn’t speak English!”
Coworker: “Uhh… okay. We could probably find a size if we saw how big the donkey is.”
Woman: “All right.”
(She uses her phone to show us a picture of a plastic yard decoration that looks like a donkey. This woman is obviously on some kind of medication.)
Me: “Ma’am, that’s a decoration, not a real donkey. Your flowers are probably being eaten by rabbits or insects.”
Woman: “ARE YOU F****** BLIND?! THAT IS CLEARLY A LIVING DONKEY! HOW COULD RABBITS POSSIBLY EAT MY FLOWERS? I CAST A PROTECTIVE SPELL AROUND MY GARDEN!”
Me: “Maybe you should’ve cast a donkey-proof spell…”
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?