This Is How Rumors Spread

(My boyfriend and I are at a stand-up comedy gig and having a great time. It should be noted that although we get on very well, we are having some difficulties in the bedroom. This happens during the gig’s interval.)

Boyfriend: “Do you want to go outside and spread your legs for a while?”

Me: “Whaaat?!”

Boyfriend: *takes a few seconds before he realises what he said* “Stretch! I meant stretch your legs! Oh, God!”