The Peter Principle

(I’m by the science lab, and I overhear my form tutor and English teacher having a heated discussion about a person with my name. Apparently, this person has been committing a lot punishable offenses. This scares and confuses me at the same time, since I know I haven’t been doing any of these things, and I’m quite a taciturn loner. It doesn’t register with me that they could be talking about my classmate, who also shares the same name. We’re in maths, when both teachers enter halfway through.)

English Teacher: “Where’s Peter?”

(Silence from the whole class. I start getting nervous, since this has been eating up at me.)

Science Teacher: “Where’s Peter?”

Me: *standing up* “I didn’t do ANY of the things you’re here about! Smoking is NOT in my repertoire, neither is drinking, or skipping class!”

(Shocked silence from everyone.)

English Teacher: *slowly* “We’re here about [Other Peter]. Not you.”

Me: *blinking* “Oh. Then he’s hiding under that desk.”