The Human Vs. Centipede

(I work at a popular sandwich chain. I am up front serving the last customer in line when all of a sudden one of my coworkers, in the back room, starts screaming like a little girl. I go to see if he is in trouble and find him cowering on top of a table.)

Me: “[Coworker], what’s wrong?”

Coworker: “[My Name], YOU GOTTA KILL IT!”

Me: “What? Kill what?”

Coworker: *quieter but just as panicked* “You gotta kill it!”

(He starts pointing to the corner wall. I look to see a bitty, brown centipede just chilling there, minding its own business. Ashamedly, I then start shrieking and jump up on the table with him. The manager hears the screaming and walks in to see what’s the matter.)

Manager: “Hey, guys. What’s with all the screaming back here? Is everyone okay?”

Coworker & Me: *pointing towards wall* “YOU GOTTA KILL IT!”

Manager: “Kill it? Kill what?” *looks to wall* “OH, MY GOD. IS THAT A THOUSAND LEGGER?!”

(The manager leaps up onto a chair and all three of us start shrieking like banshees and telling each other to go kill it. The health inspector happens to be here doing a routine inspection and eventually comes in to check on us. He is surprised to see the manager standing on a chair, and my coworker and I crouching on a table.)

Health Inspector: “Is everything okay back here? I can hear you screaming from all the way at the front of the store! You’re all scaring the customers!”

Coworker, Manager, & Me: *all pointing towards the wall* “YOU GOTTA KILL IT!”