The Earth Moved For Everyone Except You

(I am sharing a room with three other guys while in college. At around 4:45 in the morning, three of us awaken to an intense rumbling.)

Me: “What the h***?!”

Friend #1: *starts panicking, gets out of bed, walks across room* “We’ve gotta get out of here! We’re on the second floor!”

Me: “[Friend #1], shut up!”

(After about a minute, the rumbling ceases.)

Friend #1: “What was that?!”

Me: “Earthquake! What else would it be?”

Friend #1: “I dunno… construction?”

Me: “Who would be constructing at 4:45 in the morning?!”

Friend #2: *having just now woken up* “What are you guys talking for?!”

Me: “We just had an earthquake.”

Friend #2: “Yeah, right.”

Me: “No, seriously!”

(Since he also slept through the aftershock, to this day he claims that he does not believe there was ever an earthquake. All the news reports and social media postings? Massive conspiracy, he says!)

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