(Two friends and I are discussing Disney movies together, when one can’t remember the name of a villain.)

Friend: “The uhm… She was in Sleeping Beauty. You know… the horny lady.”

(There’s a split-second as she realizes what she just said, and my other friend and I start laughing hysterically.)

Friend: *turning bright red* “No, that’s not what— Not THAT kind of of horny! You cut that out! You know what I mean!”

(While waiting for some other friends to arrive, I’m describing my play experience with a new videogame.)

Me: “And all these stags and rabbits keep killing themselves on my wooden spike traps, but I don’t dare go and harvest the meat because the zombies will see me!”

Friend: *walking in* “Man, life in Marysville is getting tougher than I thought!”

(My husband has a habit of letting his mind wander off, so sometimes he answers things that only make sense in his mind’s context. One night, we are cuddling and I’m in the mood for saying sweet nothings to one another.)

Me: *with the cutest voice I can do* “Wat’chu thinking, sweetie?”

Husband: “I think I should upload more Bob Dylan and The Clash to my cellphone.”

Me: “… Gee, thanks, sweetie. Me, too.”

Me: “I’m really looking forward to this evening.”

Girlfriend: “Why? What happens this evening?”

Me: “You’re kidding, right? The Super Bowl!?”

Girlfriend: “Ah… that’s football, right?”

(My fiancé and I are in bed preparing to snuggle until we doze off.  I scoot in closer to him.)

Fiancé: “Babe, take your socks off.”

Me: “I don’t have any socks on.”

Fiancé: “Well, I guess God couldn’t make you pretty everywhere so I love you from your head to your ankles.”

(I was so mad, I decided to snuggle with my pillow.)