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Much Argue About Nothing

| Learning | March 30, 2013

(I’m working at my high school as a computer tech. One afternoon, a teacher comes into our work area.)

Me: “Hey Mr. [Teacher], what’s the problem?”

Teacher: “Do I need to have a problem?”

Me: *feeling awkward* “Err, I guess not. That’s just why people usually come over here.”

Teacher: “Well, you should appreciate that there might be some other reason why I’m here.”

Me: “I understand. So why are you here?”

Teacher: “Well, I’m having a problem with the computer!”

Doesn’t Enjoy Bird Watching But Quite Likes The Woods

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(I am sitting quietly in Current Affairs when I get a tap on the back from behind from a student.)

Student: “Hey. Is Dick Cheney the funny man on TV?”

Me: “No, he was the Vice President during the Bush Administration.”

Student: *blank look*

Me: “You know, he was the one who shot his friend in the face while quail hunting?”

Student: “Oh my God, he what! Wait, what’s a quail?”

Me: “It’s a type of bird.”

Student: “Why on earth would anyone kill a bird?”

Me: “To eat?”

Student: “That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Where do you think chicken’s come from!?”

Student: “Oh… right. I swear I’m not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!”

Goodbye, Dolly

, | Learning | March 12, 2013

Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [Town] High School?”

Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

Customer: “How many seats are left?”

Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

Doesn’t Enjoy Bird Watching But Quite Likes The Woods

, , , , | Right | December 1, 2010

(I am sitting quietly in Current Affairs class when I get a tap on the back from a student behind me.)

Student: “Hey. Is Dick Cheney the funny man on TV?”

Me: “No, he was the vice president during the Bush administration.”

Student: *blank look*

Me: “You know, he was the one who shot his friend in the face while quail hunting?”

Student: “Oh, my God, he what?! Wait, what’s a quail?”

Me: “It’s a type of bird.”

Student: “Why on earth would anyone kill a bird?”

Me: “To eat?”

Student: “That’s disgusting!”

Me: “Where do you think chickens come from!?”

Student: “Oh… right. I swear I’m not dumb! I know who Tiger Woods is!”


This story is part of the More-Extra-Stupid-Customers roundup!

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Caesar 2: The [Roman] Empire Strikes Back

, , , , , | Right | October 26, 2010

Customer: “Do you carry books by Shakespeare here?”

Me: “Yes, we do. Which play did you need?”

Customer: “The one that sophomores read.” *gestures to the teenager next to her, presumably her daughter*

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s not just one play that sophomores read. Do you happen to know the title, or maybe what it’s about?”

Customer: *loudly* “The-One-That-Sophomores-Read!”

Me: “Well, let’s walk over to the section and see if we can figure it out. A lot of early high school students read A Midsummer Night’s Dream or Romeo & Juliet.”

Daughter: “I think Romeo & Juliet.”

Me: “Great!” *pulls out a copy to hand to her*

Daughter: “I don’t know though.”

Me: “Okay. Well, could it be Hamlet, maybe? Or Julius Caesar?”

Daughter:Julius Caesar? Isn’t that the sequel to Romeo & Juliet?”


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