(I am training a new coworker to be a cashier.)
Me: “Okay, he prepaid for his gas and he has $13.99 coming back for his change. Also, he’s giving you a penny.”
Coworker: “Okay.”
(They starts counting out the 99 cents.)
Me: “You don’t have to count out the 99 cents since he is giving you the penny.”
Coworker: “What? This is so confusing.” *hands customer 13 dollars*
Me: “…”
(It’s a slow evening, and my coworker and I are bored. Somehow, we ended up singing ‘Hakuna Matata.’ On the the second or third repetition, a customer walks in on us.)
My Coworker & I: “Ain’t no passing craze. It’s our—”
Me: *to the customer* “Oh, hi!”
Customer: *looks at us strangely*
Coworker: “We were just singing ‘Hakuna Matata.'”
Customer: “Oh, no worries.”
Coworker: “Exactly!”
(I usually work late nights, but this day I am covering an early morning shift for my manager. So, my sleep schedule is a little mixed up, leaving me feel tired.)
Owner: “I’m going back to bed.”
Me: “Take me with you!”
(There’s a pause as I realize exactly what I said.)
Me: “Oh, God! Not like that!”
Owner: *laughs* “I was about to say, that’s one way to get a raise.”
(My brother, sister and I are stopping for gas. My brother starts the pump and comes around to sit in the car.)
Sister: “Why’d you come in?”
Brother: “I don’t like standing around in the gasoline fumes.”
Sister: “Why?”
Me: “Check the sign… they can cause cancer.”
Sister: “But I like the smell of gas.”
Me: “You also like to play with matches.”
Sister: “I don’t like to play with matches. I have to play with matches.”
(We all stop and stare at each other. She’s put it off that she was joking every time the story has since been told.)
(I work at a gas station. We have a lot of rules to prevent under-aged people from getting cigarettes. I’ve just graduated from high school a few weeks before, and am still 17. A kid that I don’t really know, but goes to my old high school walks in with his mom.)
Kid: “Hey, can I get a pack of [cigarettes].”
Me: “I’m going to need to see your ID first.”
Kid: “C’mon, you know me. We went to high school together.”
Me: “Sorry, but if you look underage, I have to card you.”
(He says he understands, and calmly walks out. His mom follows him out without buying anything. About two minutes later, she comes back in stays right at the newspapers near the door, and pretends to be looking around for about a minute, looking at the papers.)
Lady: *loudly* “Oh, there it is.” *walks right up to the register*
Lady: “I forgot to get the paper earlier.”
Me: “That’ll be 75 cents.”
Lady: “Oh, yeah. Can I also get a pack of [cigarettes]?”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but your son just came in and didn’t have his ID. I can’t sell the same cigarettes to you right now.”
Lady: “Well, what if they aren’t for him! They are for his dad.”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am. It’s against store policy.”
(She’s clearly angry at this point. My manager notices and is already on her way to the register.)
Lady: “Well, I wanna see your manager!”
Me: “The lady would like to speak to you.”
Lady: “Yeah, this little a**hole won’t sell me cigarettes!”
Manager: “Well, the problem is it’s against store policy to sell cigarettes to you since he had to deny your son.”
Lady: “Well, in the state of Pennsylvania, it’s illegal to deny a purchase of any kind to a customer!”
Me: “Actually it’s illegal to buy cigarettes for a minor.”
Lady: “Well, I want to talk to corporate and tell them about this!”
(My manager gets the phone under the register, calls corporate, and explains the situation. However, before my manager can finish talking, the lady grabs the phone from my manager.)
Lady: *to the phone* “Yeah, can you tell these a**holes they have to sell me cigarettes?!”
(We can hear the voice from the phone, and the moment corporate stops talking, the lady slams the phone down throws the paper at us.)
Lady: “You can shove that paper up your a**!”
