(I’m training a new cashier.)
Me: “He has 84 cents in change.”
New Cashier: “What do I do?”
Me: “Count out his change.”
New Cashier: *begins counting change* “This is making me so nervous! You do it!”
(I am training a new coworker to be a cashier.)
Me: “Okay, he prepaid for his gas and he has $13.99 coming back for his change. Also, he’s giving you a penny.”
Coworker: “Okay.”
(They starts counting out the 99 cents.)
Me: “You don’t have to count out the 99 cents since he is giving you the penny.”
Coworker: “What? This is so confusing.” *hands customer 13 dollars*
Me: “…”
(It’s a slow evening, and my coworker and I are bored. Somehow, we ended up singing ‘Hakuna Matata.’ On the the second or third repetition, a customer walks in on us.)
My Coworker & I: “Ain’t no passing craze. It’s our—”
Me: *to the customer* “Oh, hi!”
Customer: *looks at us strangely*
Coworker: “We were just singing ‘Hakuna Matata.'”
Customer: “Oh, no worries.”
Coworker: “Exactly!”
(I usually work late nights, but this day I am covering an early morning shift for my manager. So, my sleep schedule is a little mixed up, leaving me feel tired.)
Owner: “I’m going back to bed.”
Me: “Take me with you!”
(There’s a pause as I realize exactly what I said.)
Me: “Oh, God! Not like that!”
Owner: *laughs* “I was about to say, that’s one way to get a raise.”
(My brother, sister and I are stopping for gas. My brother starts the pump and comes around to sit in the car.)
Sister: “Why’d you come in?”
Brother: “I don’t like standing around in the gasoline fumes.”
Sister: “Why?”
Me: “Check the sign… they can cause cancer.”
Sister: “But I like the smell of gas.”
Me: “You also like to play with matches.”
Sister: “I don’t like to play with matches. I have to play with matches.”
(We all stop and stare at each other. She’s put it off that she was joking every time the story has since been told.)
