Splitting Hares

(I am moving into my parent’s loft, a small, one-room house above their garage. I am taking my cat, and am coerced into taking the family’s rabbit too, because I am most tolerant of his size and attitude.)

Uncle: “You know, it’s illegal to have a rabbit and cat in the same loft.”

(There is a pause.)

Me: “You’re just saying that because you know I’m moving into a loft with a rabbit and a cat.”

Uncle: “It’s true. They’re afraid they’ll breed and make ‘carabbits’.”

Me: “Assuming that’s possible, both of them are fixed and they hate each-other.”

(My aunt walks in from the other room.)

Uncle: *to my aunt* “Isn’t it true that it’s illegal to have cats and rabbits together in Colorado?”

Aunt: “Yeah, because they’re afraid they’ll breed and make ‘rabcats’.”

Me: “I love you guys.”