Putting You In The Hot Seat

(I am working selling tickets at a movie theater, when an older gentleman and his teenage granddaughter come in.)

Customer: “I need two tickets for [Popular Movie].”

Me: “Of course. If you could please select your seats on the screen below?”

(I indicate the screen facing him showing the remaining seats for the movie. There are hardly any, because the movie is very popular.)

Customer: “No, no, no. These are not good seats. Give us two tickets for the next showing.”

Me: “Absolutely. We have the movie running in multiple theaters, because it is so popular, and the next showing is in a theater about half the size of the previous one, but lots of good seats still available.”

Customer: “What? No. No, no, no. This is too small. How do you have a theater this small? No. I will not watch a movie on a screen that small. Seat me in the IMAX.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re not an IMAX theater.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. How are you not IMAX?”

Me: “I suppose we don’t have the room.”

Customer: “What is your biggest theater?”

Me: “Um, that’d be about 300 seats.”

Customer: “That. Seat me in that.”

Me: “That’s our next showing, the first one you tried to get. It’s almost sold out.”

Customer: “No, no, no. That’s no good. There are no good seats there! What is your second biggest? Seat me there!”

Me: *checking* “Our next biggest theater is currently showing [Children’s Movie].”

Customer: “That’s not what I want to see! Why are you playing that in the big theater?”

Me: “Many people want to see that movie; it’s been doing quite well.”

Customer: “Ridiculous. What’s the next biggest? Seat me there!”

Me: “That theater is showing [Horror Movie].”

Customer: “Tch! No! I want to see [Popular Movie]! [Popular Movie]!”

Me: “What if we got you tickets for the next showing of [Popular Movie] in our largest theater?”

Customer: “Yes. Finally, some help! Do that!”

Me: *pulling up the seating chart for that movie, which is still mostly empty at this point* “All right. This showing is three hours from now, though.”

Customer: “What?! No! That’s too long to wait! This is ridiculous. Ridiculous! Give us two tickets to the next showing in the big theater!”

Me: “All right, but, again, you did not seem to like the available seats for that show time.”

Customer: “I don’t care; I won’t watch anything on a small screen!”

(I pull up the original seat selection screen. While he has been arguing, a number of seats have sold, and now, there are only single seats available.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we only have single seats available.”

Customer’s Granddaughter: *suddenly jumping in* “That’s fine! That’s fine. We don’t have to sit together. It’s fine!”

Customer: *smug look, as if he’s won something* “Yes, we will take these seats. In the big theater.”

(They ended up with two single seats near the very front of the theater. I don’t blame the granddaughter for not wanting to sit with him, though!)