Puts The Cross Into Cross Texting

(I am texting my girlfriend and my mother at the same time, and accidentally cross my replies. My religious mother has been trying to get me to watch ‘Passion Of The Christ’.)

Mum: “So what did you think of the movie?”

Me: “So lovely! Everyone there was just so nice. Spent all afternoon thinking how inspiring all these people are and that I want to be just like them. Too much wine though.”

Girlfriend: “My sister told me you came by the house yesterday and didn’t realise I was at work. But you hung out for a couple of hours anyway? How was it?”

Me: “It was horrible, I seriously thought it would never end. I’ve never seen so much prolonged violence, and there were so many sadistic people! I’m so glad all those people are going to Hell.”