Not Yelping His Cause

(In self-storage, a tenant is required to give notice BEFORE their due date. Every summer we get the students who store dorm stuff while they go back home.)

Tenant: “Hi, I’m closing out my storage today.”

Me: “Oh, let me pull you up… Did you schedule your move out?”

Tenant: “Uh… no.”

Me: “I’m afraid you’re eight days past your due date, and your automatic payment went through on your due date.”

(We specifically tell new tenants that they have to give notice, and if the payment is made there are absolutely no refunds… It’s printed in block letters on the lease they sign!)

Tenant: *now very upset* “Well, if you don’t refund my money RIGHT NOW, I’ll go on Yelp and give you a one-star review!”

Me: “Huh, see that bank of video feeds above me?” *points at our security system* “Well, they also record sound. What you just threatened is actually called EXTORTION. Would you like to call the police, or shall I do it for you?”

Tenant: “Uh… uh… I was just kidding, man…” *laughs nervously* “Everything’s okay; I’ll be leaving now!”

(Our camera system doesn’t record audio, and we got a five-star review from the kid!)