Jehovah’s Witless, Part 12

| Friendly | April 17, 2017

I spot the Jehovah Witness people coming up my driveway. I’m not religious and find their intrusion annoying, so I decide to do something that will pretty much guarantee they’ll leave me alone in the future.

It is just before Halloween and I have a life-size plaster skull with a candle set into the top sitting on the TV. I move it to the table next to the door and light the candle before racing into the bedroom to slip into the long black caftan I’d bought to wear as a costume. Picking up my black cat, whose name happens to be Mephistopheles, I open the door to greet them. My cat, being half Siamese, is very vocal and calling him by name, I explain to him what the “nice people” want. They didn’t even stay long enough to give me a tract.

Not five minutes later I got a phone call from my neighbor who said they had gone to his house and asked, “Do you know you have a witch living next door?” He said he’d laughed and told them, “Yeah but I usually spell it with a ‘b’.”

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