I Shall Create A Graph Of Your Demise

(I have a habit of leaving random supplies around, and everyone in my family has been quite sick lately. This led to the following conversation.)

Me: “So, don’t be too concerned about me saying this, but if something super bad happens to me there’s a graph paper notebook in the top shelf of my closet. Knock yourself out.”

Best Friend: “Don’t say that! Now I want something super bad to happen to you.”

Me: “…”

Best Friend: “In my defense, graph paper is the bomb.”