Getting Under The Skin

(I’ve managed to somehow scratch the back of my neck. I also have a LOT of allergies. I slide up to my boyfriend while he’s cooking dinner.)

Me: *gesturing to a scratch on the back of my neck* “Can you put some salve on my neck for me, please?”

Boyfriend: “Sure.”

(He applies the salve then rips off a piece of paper towel to put over the scratch.)

Boyfriend: “This is cheaper than Band-Aids.”

Me: “And I’m allergic to some Band-Aids, so that’s better for my skin.”

Boyfriend: “What AREN’T you allergic to?”

Me: *thinks for a moment, then grins* “Poison Ivy!”

Boyfriend: “Well, s***.”