Don’t Take His Spot

(My mom hasn’t gone to see a movie in the movie theater in almost 10 years, but decides she wants to see the new Star Wars on the big screen. As we go in to find seats we have this conversation.)

Me: *looking around for a good seat*

Mom: “There’s three seats open right here.” *points to the very front row*

Me: “No, those are terrible seats. We want those ones over that way.” *starts walking over to the other side and up the stairs*

Mom: “I don’t see what’s wrong with those seats…”

Me: “Hmm… this row. You go first, Mom. That way you are closest to the exact middle.”

Mom: *staring at me oddly* “All right…”

(We take our seats and as we get situated I check the height and move my head up and down.)

Me: “We’re pretty much perfect… Probably would be better a row up though. You are almost dead center of the screen and at just the right height that you don’t have to crane your head up or look down at the screen—”

Mom: “You better not start making ‘heee!’ sounds!”

Me: *bewildered* “What…?”

Mom: “You sound like Sheldon Cooper trying to find the perfect seat in the movies!”

(We both burst out laughing at how absurd that would be. She thoroughly enjoyed the movie!)