(My dad plays in a band, and they often play wedding receptions. During one such instance, someone runs out during the wedding to buy a broom to use as a pole for the limbo. It is after the reception.)
Groom: “Does anyone have use for this broom?”
My Dad: “Oh! Do you mind if I take it? It’s mine and my wife’s anniversary. I can’t wait to see the look on her face!”
(I am a waitress at a well-known restaurant chain. It is during the holidays. We have a run on pecan pie this afternoon, so I don’t have any ready yet. This takes place after a table of three has finished their meal.)
Me: “Would you guys like any desert? We have a lovely selection of pies.”
Customer #1: “What do you have?”
(I list the several kinds of pie we have available.)
Customer #2: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cream.”
Customer #1: “Pumpkin, please.”
Customer #3: “Do you have any pecan pie?”
Me: “Not right now. We had a lot of people wanting pecan today, but I can start one thawing for you. It’ll take about 10 minutes.”
Customer #3: “Never mind, then.”
Me: “Sorry, I have other pies. Would you like one of those?”
Customer #3: “No.”
(I leave and bring out the two pies and the bill, asking them if that was all. They said yes. In ten minutes, I look in on them again.)
Me: “How was everything?”
Customers #1 & #2: “Great.”
Customer #3: “Where’s my pecan pie?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘Never mind.’ I can have it out to you in a few minutes, though.”
Customer #3: *irritated* “Never mind, then!”
Me: “Are you sure, sir?”
Customer #3: *sighs* “Yes.”
Me: “Sorry about that. You guys have a good day, though.”
(I leave them and go over to the register because a banquet party of 70+ people are waiting to cash out. Customer #3 comes over to the register to cash out, so I tell him it’ll be a moment because of the line. Instead, he speaks to my manager who happens to be right behind me.)
Customer #3: *angrily, to my manager* “I never got my pie!”
Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir.” *turns to me* “Hey, why didn’t he get his pie?”
(I explain the whole thing.)
Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. There seemed to have been some confusion. I can take the pie off your bill.”
Me: “It was never on there because he never ordered it.”
Customer #3: “I want a discount!”
Manager: “For a pie you never ordered? It’s not on your bill. If it were on your bill, I could take it off.”
Customer #3: “She is a stupid waitress! I wanted pie! I never got it! I want my meal free!”
Manager: “And why would I give you a free meal because of a misunderstanding over a pie you never ordered?”
Customer #3: “BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!”
Manager: *firmly* “No. Sometimes the customer is very wrong! Please pay your bill as it stands, or I call the cops and you can explain to them why you’re always right, and shouldn’t go to jail over a piece of pie you never ordered.”
(Customer #3 blushes, pays, and all but runs out leaving his friends to stammer their apologies.)
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