Could Out-Trump Trump

(I am working for centre management for a shopping centre when a customer wishes to complain about the ‘tolerance’ of a Muslim butcher who chooses not to stock pork.)

Customer: “If you don’t have grandchildren or children then you’re not properly Australian.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You believe if you don’t have children at all, then you’re not Australian?”

Customer: “That’s right. Do you have grandchildren?”

Me: “No. I’m in my 30s.”

Customer: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I just don’t.”

Customer: “Were you born in Australia?”

Me: “Yes.” *a lie, but it was easier to say yes*

Customer: “Well, you’re MOSTLY Australian, then.”

(Eventually getting back to his complaint about the butcher…)

Customer: “All Muslims want to take over the world with their lifestyle and practices and eradicate our culture. They say it all the time!”

Me: “I have several Muslim friends who don’t share that view.”

Customer: “Well you are one of the very few people in the world who are friends with a Muslim. And do you know we’ve got a female Prime Minister?” *we did at the time* “She’s conspiring with the Muslims, supporting their takeover because secretly, SHE IS ONE!”

Me: “I think you ought to shop for your meat elsewhere, mate.”