Caught You Off Gourd

(My boyfriend and I are about to get intimate.)

Me: “I just want to put you in a watermelon juicer and drain you of all your juices and sip up all your milk like a boost juice.”

Boyfriend: “I want to cut you up like a pumpkin and roast you!”

Me: *horrified*

Boyfriend: “Wow… That’s not very sexy is it?”