Actually Made Fifty Shades Less

(I am restocking the shelves when my manager comes round.)

Manager: “Hey, we need room for a hundred new copies of that new Fifty Shades book coming out. Do you think we could get more room on these shelves?”

(The particular shelves are very near the children’s section.)

Me: “Really? Because it might be unsuitable for this part of the store.”

Manager: “Listen, we’re putting them on the tables near the counters, and this is the counter most people go to.”

Me: “Yes, because it’s near the very large children’s area. Parents won’t like it if there’s smut near the kids’ section.”

Manager: “Just do it! There’s no more room!”

(I do so. A few weeks later…)

Manager: “Well done, [My Name]. The Fifty Shades series has been selling really well! We’ve sold almost every copy!”

Me: “You do realize we’ve actually made less than usual in the children’s section because the next shelves, within a child’s view, might I add – are filled with p*rn?”

Manager: “No. Just be glad we made a profit!”

Me: “We didn’t. We often sell between 40 and 50 children’s books a month. We only sold 9 this month. Unless we put the Fifty Shades in a different place no parent will come here with their children.

Manager: “We made a profit! We sold so many Fifty Shades books!”

Me: *annoyed* “That’s because most bookstores don’t advertise them in full view! They put them in the back parts of the bookstores, so that’s why we’ve sold more than other local bookstores!”

Manager: *not getting it* “Exactly! That’s why we’ve made a profit!”

(A few parents complained and the manager was replaced. The adult novels are now near the back.)