Aborting Snorting At An Early Age

(I’m teaching Spanish to a group of about 15 teenage boys.)

Student: “What would happen if I snorted a [popular powdered candy]?”

Me: “I don’t think it’d be very pleasant; and you’d probably end up on the running list after I emailed your coach.”

Student: *with mock dejection* “Okay… you ruin all my fun…”

Me: “I know. It’s what I’m here for. Now, moving on.”

(I continue teaching, and turn to write an example of a concept on the board. I hear a snorting noise.)

Student: “Ow!”

Me: *without turning around* “I told you not to snort that.”

Student: “Can I go to the nurse?”

Me: “She’s at [other campus]. Is this an emergency?”

Student: “No. I just kind of have a headache.”

Me: “[Student], dear, snorting anything will do that to you. If it gets worse, let me know and we’ll call your mom. This is why we don’t do drugs. If sugar will cause a headache, imagine what something stronger will do.”

Student: “Good point. This sucks…”