A Very Testing Time To Be A Teacher

(I am the head of the math department and have been trying to help a brand new math teacher with lesson plans and tests. This starts right after test number one.)

Me: “So, how did your students do on the test?”

New Teacher: “Not too great. Hey, I know you said there were 14 questions and to count them 7 points each, but I counted 20 things they had to find, so I counted each one 5 points. That’s okay, right?”

Me: “Well, we’re supposed to grade the same since it’s the same course. I think that’s part of why your students didn’t do so well on the test. There were some multi-part questions and if they missed the first part they would automatically miss the second, so you were counting off double for that. But, you know, I’m going to say this was my fault for not being clear about the grading. We’ll do better next test.”

(After the next test, which I made 20 questions with no multi-part.)

Me: “So, did this test go better?”

New Teacher: “Not really. My students still didn’t get very good grades.”

Me: “Well, at least the grading should have been easier… Five points apiece, right?”

New Teacher: “Yeah, about that… I didn’t like several of the questions, so I told the students to skip them and then I gave a percentage grade of the ones that were left.”

Me: *getting a little frustrated* “You know, we really are supposed to be teaching and testing on the same material. On the next test, just do the test exactly as I give it to you and grade it the way I tell you to.”

(After the next test, which I labeled on the test “Part 1, 3 points each; Part 2, 4 points each; etc.)

Me: “So, no troubles grading this test, right?”

New Teacher: “Yeah, well, I changed some of the point values.”

Me: “What?! Why?”

New Teacher: “Well, you had vocabulary on the test, and I hadn’t covered that with my classes.”

Me: “Why not? How could you teach the chapter without going over the vocabulary?”

New Teacher: “I didn’t know the vocabulary words, so I didn’t think I could teach them very well, so I skipped them.”

Me: “But… you could have learned them! And the students have to know them for the state test at the end of the year!”

(He didn’t make it to test number four, as he was asked to resign after cussing out a student in class.)