A Foot-Longing For A Different Girl

(I’m male and have a lot of female friends I’ve never been romantic with. I’m also a massage therapist. This means lots of hugging and shoulder rubs when I go hang out with my friends. One of my friends invites me out to lunch once a week or so and we go to a popular sandwich chain. While waiting in line, my female friend and I are rubbing each other’s shoulders and giving each other a hard time. When we got up to order, she goes first and I notice the lady behind the counter giving me a look.)

Me: “I’ll have a foot-long [Sandwich] on wheat .”

Employee: “Uh huh.” *gives me the weird look again*

(I ignore it and give her my condiment toppings as we move down the line. When we get to the register, my friend has her wallet out to pay for her meal.)

Employee: “Your total is [total].”

Friend: “Oh, no, our orders are separate.”

(She gives me a harder look and I just stare back, confused.)

Employee: “Your boyfriend there should be paying for your meal.”

(My friend and I both stop, look at each other and start laughing. The employee just looks confused for a moment until I can compose myself.)

Me: “Oh no, we aren’t…”

Friend: “No, no, no… we’re just…”

Together: “Just friends.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. You guys are in here together all the time. I thought you were a couple. I just kept wondering why he made you pay for your own food.”

(I just laughed it off and went to have lunch with my friend, making jokes about it and wondering why her being my girlfriend would mean I’d HAVE to pay. A few weeks later, my actual girlfriend and I go to this restaurant together and get served by the same lady.)

Employee: “Where’s your other girl? The one you’re always in here with.”

Me: “Well, that just sounds bad.”

Girlfriend: *jokingly* “You mean you eat sandwiches with other girls?”

Me: *also jokingly* “Nah, baby, you’re my only sandwich girl.”

(The employee had the decency to get embarrassed, but I had to wonder if she was trying to out me in front of my girlfriend. A week later, my friend, girlfriend, and I all went out to eat together and laughed about that lady.)