A Cancer On Your Productivity

(This is my mother’s experience. She manages a branch of an advertising company and her job can be quite hectic, as she deals with some idiotic workers. This coworker has been ditching work, so my mom and the other managers decide to fire her.)

Mom: “Hey, where’s [Coworker]?”

HR: “Huh, I don’t know. Let me call her.”

(Later that day:)

HR: “Hey, I got in touch with [Coworker] and she says she’s going to be out for ten days because she was diagnosed with skin cancer today.”

Mom: “Oh!”

HR: “And she is starting treatment tomorrow.”

Mom: “…Oh.”

(My mom knows this is another trick because my dad once had skin cancer, and treatment definitely didn’t start the next day. And it pretty much never will for any type of cancer. Then, this happens the next day.)

Mom: “Where is [Coworker]? We need to fire her.

Other Manager: “She just called in sick. Apparently she has a fever.”

Mom: “I thought she had cancer? You know what forget it. Call HR. Get [two other managers] on, too. We’re going to fire her over the phone if we have to.”

(Long story short, They called. She was fired, broke down in “tears,” and threatened to sue. She actually had her lawyer contact the company’s, who gave her lawyer her time sheet and demanded proof of her “cancer.” Surprise, surprise, she backed down.)