Unfiltered Story #67212

(I work for a police force in the UK – and as such we have a private line in the reception that is never used for anything non work related. In the space of a day, we get more than ten cold calls trying to sell everything from holidays to mobile phones. This is the second to last call I received (the last one being too rude for publication).

Caller: Congratulations sir, you’ve name has been selected out of a list of names and you have won a Nokia A100 mobile phone. This phone is one of the latest . . .

Me: Does it have a camera on it?

Caller: This phone is one of the latest models available . .

Me: Yeah but does it have a camera on?

Caller: Yes sir, it’s got two cameras on. It’s one of the latest models . .

Me: Why does it have two cameras on? Whats the point of that?

Caller: It has a three megapixel camera for taking photos, and a smaller camera for video conferencing. This camera . .

Me: Video conferencing? What if I was talking to someone and I was naked? They would be able to see me naked?

Caller: This camera would be sent to you in the next three working . .

Me: What if THEY were naked? What if we were both naked, we would be able to see each other naked? Actually that seems like quite a lot of fun, don’t you think?

Caller: This camera would be sent to you in the next . .

Me: Have you ever done naked video conferencing? Don’t you thing that sounds like fun?

Caller: This camera would be sent to you . .

Me: Can I have your number please? Maybe we could do some naked video conferencing?

Caller: Sorry I don’t understand? I’m a bit stupid.

Me: Yes you are.

*click*