Unfiltered Story #67081

(My car was having some engine problems earlier that day. I was able to drive it to work, but my parents planned on stopping by to pick it up and leave the family van behind. My little brother is in a marching band that recently did a zombie show for Halloween.)

Me: *telling the manager about the show* And so, the pallbearers bring out the coffin, from which the drum major jumps out and-

Dad: *pulls up to the speaker*

Me: Welcome to our (store), would you like (sandwich)?

Dad: KEYS!

(Everyone is staring, trying to figure out what was just said, until my dad skips the payment window, stopping outside the pickup window.)

Dad: *hands me the keys to our van* Have a good night, dear.

Manager:-EP! Please tell me you have photos of yesterday’s show!

Mom: It’ll take a minute for me to load them on my phone.

Manager: It’s 8 p.m. and we’re dead. I’m not worried about our timer.

(My mom hands over her phone, letting me scroll through the pictures to show my manager the customers, the coffin, and the hearse used in the show. My parents tell my manager about it until another car pulled up.)