Unfiltered Story #326608

My spouse is autistic and gets overloaded easily. We’re vacationing in France, but am American. I speak some french. These are the facts you need to know to understand this story.

We’re on a very crowded buss in Nice and my spouse starts hyperventilating. I start giving her a massage to calm her down.

A man, jokingly, demands in french “When do I get my massage”

I’ve been asked this before, but my typical response to this joke (a quick explanation of my spouse’s condition) is too complex for my limited french. So instead I reply with a comeback I’ve been meaning to use against the rude people who make this joke, but have felt was too rude to use in the states.

“when you make me breakfast in the morning after a good night“ I reply wickedly.

Four other young men who has been standing with the man, presumably his friends, all go ‘ohhhhhhhhh’ and what I assume is french for some variation of ‘you got burned’. Or possibly ‘this American makes no sense’, I may have mangled the joke, but I
think I said it right.

Blushing, the man turned back to his friends and left my wife and I alone the rest of the ride.