You’ve Made Your Bed

(In every apartment we’ve lived in or hotel room we’ve stayed in, I make my husband sleep on the side of the bed closer to the door. He finds this funny, and the subject comes up while we’re out shopping.)

Me: “See, the thing is, I think it’s really better for me to be closer to the door, though. Because I think you’d have a faster reaction time in a situation like that. So if a bad guy came in the door and I was closer, he’d kill me but then you might have time to get away. Whereas if you were by the door and he came in and surprised us, and killed you, then he would just kill me, too. So then we’d both be dead.”

Husband: “This is why I love you.”